James Duncan

The light was shining on the clouds
Shining with all it's might:
And moving about up in the air
A bat shone smooth and bright -
Unusual mostly, but this is Gotham
It happens every night.

Robin was pacing sulkily,
He thought "I know that one"
It means Joker's up to business
After the day is done -
'Batman, grab your suit,' he said,
'Let's go and have some fun!'

The suit was black as black could be,
The rubber matt and dry.
Racing to a car, and then
A flame alights the sky:
The Batmobile speeding over road -
For this bat cannot fly.

Both Batman and boy Robin
Were keeping close at hand;
Trying like anything to see
That Joker's fiendish band:
'If they were only locked away,'
They said, 'it would be grand!'

'If seven cops who were the tops
Swept the block for half a year,
Do you suppose,' the Batman said,
'That they could get it clear?'
'I doubt it,' said boy Robin,
And shed a bitter tear.

'O Batman, come and play with us!'
The Joker did beseech,
'A pleasant walk, You'll die not talk,
My bullet in the breach:
I cannot do with less than four,
I've 2 to give you each.'

Coldly Batman listened out,
But never a word he said:
Turned to Robin, winked his eye,
And shook his cowled head -
Meaning to say he'd rather choose
To sneak right in instead.

But four young henchmen hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their hair was brushed, their faces washed,
Their outfits clean and neat -
And this was odd, because, you know,
That night was Gotham sleet.

Four other henchmen followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more -
All running through the darkened night,
On Gotham's troubled shore.

The Batman and boy Robin
Walked on a mile or so,
And then Batman called the batphone
His voice was clear and low:
And all the normal policemen came
And waited in a row.

'The time has come,' the Batman said,
'To do heroic things:
Of break right in - and save the girl -
To make us - Gotham's kings -
And show them why the bat is feared -
And justice comes on wings.'

But wait a bit,' the policemen cried,
'Before we do all that;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!'
'No hurry,' said the Batman.
They thanked him much for that.

To surprise them all' the Batman said,
'is what we chiefly need:
All those policemen right outside
Are also good indeed -
Now if you're ready, Robin dear,
I shall now take the lead.'

'I'm right behind!' young Robin said,
As Batman flew within,
All the wenches scattered out
Of Joker's den of sin.
'I'll get you now,' the Batman said.
'I've come to take you in.'

It was so kind of you to come!
It's always quite such fun!'
The Joker said while laughing
'But now I have to run:
I wish I didn't have to leave -
The fun is not yet done.'

'It seems a shame,' the Joker said,
'To play you such a trick,
After all we've brought you out so far,
But now you'll die so quick!'
The Batman he said nothing but
Moved fast to save the chick.

The henchmen fought, the Batman said:
'I deeply sympathize.'
With lazy ease he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Meanwhile the Joker fled away
Beneath the darkened skies.

'O Henchmen,' said the Batman,
'You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting downtown?'
But answer came there none -
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd captured every one.

*ROLL CREDITS - THE POSTSCRIPT*
So that concludes our heroes' tale,
Our weekly dose of flannel.
They hope to see you here again,
Same Battime, same Batchannel.

This is a recent exchange of mails between CentOS, a RedHat derived GNU/Linux distro, and this man. I am afraid for humanity.
—

Thu, 23 Mar 2006 00:52:58 +0000 (Wed, 18:52 CST)
Jerry A. Taylor submitted the following Information:
Email xxxxxxx
Company City of Tuttle
Location Oklahoma
CommentsWho gave you permission to invade my website and block me and anyone else from accessing it???
Please remove your software immediately before I report it to government officials!!
I am the City Manager of Tuttle, Oklahoma.

———————————————–

From: Johnny Hughes
To: Jerry A. Taylor
Subject: Re: www.centos.org - Contact Us Form
Date: Wed, 22 Mar 2006 18:59:18 -0600

I feel sorry for your city.

CentOS is an operating system. It is probably installed on the computer that runs your website.

We hope you are happy with it, since we produced it for free and you are able to use it without paying us … and are even threatening to have us arrested for providing to you free of charge.

Please contact someone who does IT for you and show them the page so that they can configure your apache webserver correctly.

Thanks,
Johnny Hughes,
CentOS 4 Lead Developer

———————————————–

From: Jerry A. Taylor
To: CentOS Web Site
Subject: www.centos.org - Contact Us Form
Date: Thu, 23 Mar 2006 18:58:31 +0000 (12:58 CST)

Jerry A. Taylor submitted the following Information:
Email xxxxx
Company City of Tuttle
Location Oklahoma
Comments

Get this web site off my home page!!!!!
It is blocking access to my website!!!!~!

———————————————–

From: Johnny Hughes
To: Jerry A. Taylor
Subject: Re: www.centos.org - Contact Us Form
Date: Thu, 23 Mar 2006 13:45:37 -0600

It is not a website … it is the operating system.

I would be glad to help you configure your webserver.

Do you own the machine that your web site is on, or is it at a hosting provider.

If it is at a provider, they need to properly configure their webserver.

If it is on your machine, your apache needs to be properly configured.

I am assuming that you are seeing a page that looks like this:

http://centos.hughesjr.com/testing/noindex_new.html

If so, it tells you exactly what needs to be done to fix the problem. If your server is at a provider location, they should be able to fix it if you tell them about the issue.

We didn’t DO ANYTHING … that is what the default apache setup looks like if you are running our operating system (CentOS). So how your configuration file has been replaced by the default one … that is not something that we can do, it is something that might have been done by the administrator of the machine.

IF you are not sending these e-mails via the CentOS.org homepage, please reply to this e-mail so that I will know that.

Thanks,
Johnny Hughes
CentOS-4 Lead Developer

———————————————–

From: Jerry.Taylor
To: Johnny Hughes
Subject: Re: www.centos.org - Contact Us Form
Date: Thu, 23 Mar 2006 13:54:24 -0600

I do not want this software!!!! This is the City of Tuttle, Oklahoma. Get rid of this software!!!!!
Second notice!

———————————————–

From: Jerry.Taylor
To: Johnny Hughes
Subject: Re: www.centos.org - Contact Us Form
Date: Thu, 23 Mar 2006 13:58:23 -0600

Johnny,
Unless this software is removed I will file a complaint with the FBI.

———————————————–

From: Johnny Hughes
To: Jerry.Taylor
Subject: Re: www.centos.org - Contact Us Form
Date: Thu, 23 Mar 2006 14:18:06 -0600

Jerry,

I/We didn’t install any software … I am trying to tell you that.

I am asking you as nicely as I possible can to explain what the problem is.

I have tried to explain to you what CentOS is.

It is an operating system … a version of linux.

It does not install itself … it requires someone to install it.

If you will not let me help you, or at least talk to someone who knows what Linux is, then you will look like an idiot.

Your choice.

Thanks,
Johnny Hughes

———————————————–

From: Johnny Hughes
To: Jerry.Taylor
Subject: Re: www.centos.org - Contact Us Form
Date: Thu, 23 Mar 2006 14:46:40 -0600

Mr. Taylor,

My name is Johnny Hughes, I am a software engineer and I am a developer of CentOS. I live in Corpus Christi, Texas.

I have been published in several magazines … here is my latest article:

http://www.linux-magazine.com/issue/65

http://www.linux-magazine.com/issue/65/CentOS_4.2.pdf

CentOS is a legitimate operating system … that is what it is. It is like Microsoft Windows, RedHat Linux, or Apple OSX … It is not possible that it was installed without operator action. I have no idea what you think has happened, nor what has given you the idea that the CentOS Project is involved in any way.

CentOS is not spyware, it is not spam. It does not take over websites.

If you will not let me help you, find someone you know who is computer literate and has heard of Linux to look at your problem. I am trying very, very hard to save you from great embarrassment.

You may certainly call the FBI if you want. I may call some law enforcement agency or attorney myself if you don’t stop throwing around accusations and stop threatening me without just cause.

Please, for the love of God, either let me help you or talk to a computer administrator who can help you with your problem.

Thank You,
Johnny Hughes
CentOS-4 Lead Developer

———————————————–

From: Jerry.Taylor
To: Johnny Hughes
Subject: Re: www.centos.org - Contact Us Form
Date: Thu, 23 Mar 2006 15:15:17 -0600

I have four computers located at City Hall. All of these computers display the same CentOS page when attempting to bring up Tuttle-ok.gov. Now if your software is not causing this problem, how does it happen??? No one outside this building has complained about this problem. This is a block of public access to a city’s website. Remove your software within the next 12 hours or an official complaint to the FBI is being filed!

Third correspondence to this location.

———————————————–

From: Jerry.Taylor
To: Johnny Hughes
Subject: Re: www.centos.org - Contact Us Form
Date: Thu, 23 Mar 2006 15:50:33 -0600

Johnny,
This a message to notify you that your webpage has blocked an “Official” website that is used to provide public information regarding City Council meetings including notifying the public of the agendas. Failure to provide the agendas on the City’s website is a violation of the open records act of Oklahoma. You claim no responsibility but the city did not subscribe to your software and the city did not authorize you to display it when the city’s website is selected.

You have officially been notified and given an opportunity to correct the situation without legal intervention. The rest is up to you!
Jerry

———————————————–

From: Johnny Hughes
To: Jerry.Taylor
Cc: mayor of Tuttle
Subject: Re: www.centos.org - Contact Us Form
Date: Thu, 23 Mar 2006 18:34:18 -0600

Mr. Taylor

Stop with the FBI already. If CentOS is on the computers, it was installed there by someone who controls the computer.

Who installed the operating system on those computers? Who is the administrator of the computers and have you contacted them?

If the operating system that is installed on the computers is CentOS, then it was installed by the administrator if the computer.

Are you not understanding what I am writing?

Please talk to the person who controls the computers … or give me a name and an e-mail address and I will talk to them.

If someone who is computer literate doesn’t take care of this situation I will be forced to send these ridiculous e-mails to your local media. I’m sure they will be able to understand what I am trying to tell you.

Please, I have asked you at least 3 times to have your administrator, the person who installed the operating system on those computers, to look at them.

Thank you,
Johnny Hughes

———————————————–

From: Johnny Hughes
To: Jerry.Taylor
Cc: mayor of Tuttle
Subject: Re: www.centos.org - Contact Us Form
Date: Thu, 23 Mar 2006 18:38:46 -0600

We don’t display anything … you have yet to even tell me the name of the webserver in question.

I am very tired of your threats when you have yet to even show me what your problem is.

You obviously do not understand what I am trying to tell you, is there no one on the city council or in your building who understands what an operating system is.

If you would like me to help the administrator of the computers in question, I would be happy to. However, we did not install anything, anywhere.

———————————————–

From: Jerry.Taylor
To: Johnny Hughes
Subject: Re: www.centos.org - Contact Us Form
Date: Thu, 23 Mar 2006 18:58:24 -0600

Johnny,
I have contacted the City’s network administrator wnd he has done nothing to install your CentOS software. I have contacted our Internet provider and they know nothing about your software. I am computer literate! I have 22 years in computer systems engineering and operation. Now, can you tell me how to remove “your software” that you acknowledge you provided free of charge? I consider this “hacking”. I have no fear of the media, in fact I welcome this publicity.
Just correct this problem and leave this system alone in the future.

Jerry

———————————————–

From: Johnny Hughes
To: Jerry.Taylor
Cc: mayor of Tuttle
Subject: Re: www.centos.org - Contact Us Form
Date: Thu, 23 Mar 2006 19:08:05 -0600

Mr. Taylor,
Even though I have repeatedly asked you to contact your service provider or your network administrator, you have persisted to instead harass me. I have repeatedly offered to help you fix your issue, if you would just provide me with information. You have chosen neither provide me with information or contact your hosting provider … so I decided to see if I could find some of the information myself.

I found the website that you are having problems with by looking at http://www.Tuttle-OK.gov/ and I saw an e-mail address of cityoftuttle.org … so I went to www.cityoftuttle.org and I see the problem.

As I tried to explain to you before, that page is displayed when thewebserver in question is not properly configured.

The IP address that is returned from a name lookup of www.cityoftuttle.org is 65.77.67.7. That is the IP address of your server.

Doing more research, I have found that the site in question is hosted by Vidia Communications. If you look at this page

http://uptime.netcraft.com/up/graph/?host=www.vidiacom.com

you will plainly see that Vidia Communications uses CentOS as the operating system for their server.

So, though I have told you again and again that you need to contact your service provider and tell them of your problem, you obviously would rather threaten me and my group.

Now, for the last time … contact your web server provider, Vidia Communications, and tell them that they have a misconfiguration on the server that they are hosting your website on.

While you are at it, why don’t you ask Vidia Communications why it is that they choose CentOS to host your webserver on.

So you see Mr. Taylor, you ARE using my free operating system to run your website, you are doing so by choice, it is a configuration error by the person who choose to install the software and if you would have done what I asked you to your website would have been up by now.

Let me conclude by saying that it is very hard for me NOT to send this e-mail and all the other correspondence between you and I to http://www.tuttletimes.com/

I will not do so, even though I really do want to.

Thank you,
Johnny Hughes

———————————————–

From: Johnny Hughes
To: Jerry.Taylor
Subject: Re: www.centos.org - Contact Us Form
Date: Thu, 23 Mar 2006 19:20:11 -0600

Mr. Taylor,

If there are other servers besides the one I already found … If you provide me the names, I’ll be happy to tell you who the provider is for them as well.

Johnny Hughes

———————————————–

From: Jerry.Taylor
To: Johnny Hughes
Subject: Re: www.centos.org - Contact Us Form
Date: Fri, 24 Mar 2006 11:36:42 -0600

Johnny,
The problem has been resolved by VIDIA who used to host the City website.They still provide cable service but do not host the website. The explanation was that they had a crash and during the rebuild they reinstalled the software that affected our website.

I am sorry that we had to go through the process and accusations to get the problem resolved. It could have been resolved a lot quicker if the initial correspondence with you provided the helpful information that was transmitted in the last messages. My initial contact with VIDIA disallowed any knowledge of creating the problem.

Jerry

———————————————–

From: Johnny Hughes
To: Jerry.Taylor
Subject: Re: www.centos.org - Contact Us Form
Date: Fri, 24 Mar 2006 11:49:15 -0600

Jerry,

I asked time and again for the name of the web server administrator or the website so that I could help you.

I did the extra research on my own to figure it out for myself when I was not provided any of that information by you.

I also tried very hard to convince you that the problem had to be caused on the web server and that CentOS could not possibly be installed by accident or in anyway take over a website.

You will notice that in my first and second e-mails, I spell out exactly how to fix the problem and who should be contacted.

Any administrator should have been able to use nslookup, dig and whois to figure out the problem, which had absolutely nothing to do with CentOS.

I am glad that you got the problem fixed.

Thanks,
Johnny Hughes

The Wisdom of Parasites. The Loom: A blog about life, past and future:

Kept for posterity since the server has gone down:

I collect tales of parasites the way some people collect Star Trek plates. And having filled an entire book with them, I thought I had pretty much collected the whole set. But until now I had somehow missed the gruesome glory that is a wasp named Ampulex compressa.

As an adult, Ampulex compressa seems like your normal wasp, buzzing about and mating. But things get weird when it's time for a female to lay an egg. She finds a cockroach to make her egg's host, and proceeds to deliver two precise stings. The first she delivers to the roach's mid-section, causing its front legs buckle. The brief paralysis caused by the first sting gives the wasp the luxury of time to deliver a more precise sting to the head.

The wasp slips her stinger through the roach's exoskeleton and directly into its brain. She apparently use ssensors along the sides of the stinger to guide it through the brain, a bit like a surgeon snaking his way to an appendix with a laparoscope. She continues to probe the roach's brain until she reaches one particular spot that appears to control the escape reflex. She injects a second venom that influences these neurons in such a way that the escape reflex disappears.

From the outside, the effect is surreal. The wasp does not paralyze the cockroach. In fact, the roach is able to lift up its front legs again and walk. But now it cannot move of its own accord. The wasp takes hold of one of the roach's antennae and leads it--in the words of Israeli scientists who study Ampulex--like a dog on a leash.

The zombie roach crawls where its master leads, which turns out to be the wasp's burrow. The roach creeps obediently into the burrow and sits there quietly, while the wasp plugs up the burrow with pebbles. Now the wasp turns to the roach once more and lays an egg on its underside. The roach does not resist. The egg hatches, and the larva chews a hole in the side of the roach. In it goes.

The larva grows inside the roach, devouring the organs of its host, for about eight days. It is then ready to weave itself a cocoon--which it makes within the roach as well. After four more weeks, the wasp grows to an adult. It breaks out of its cocoon, and out of the roach as well. Seeing a full-grown wasp crawl out of a roach suddenly makes those Alien movies look pretty derivative.

I find this wasp fascinating for a lot of reasons. For one thing, it represents an evolutionary transition. Over and over again, free-living organisms have become parasites, adapting to hosts with exquisite precision. If you consider a full-blown parasite, it can be hard to conceive of how it could have evolved from anything else. Ampulex offers some clues, because it exists in between the free-living and parasitic worlds.

Amuplex is not technically a parasite, but something known as an exoparasitoid. In other words, a free-living adult lays an egg outside a host, and then the larva crawls into the host. One could easily imagine the ancestors of Ampulex as wasps that laid their eggs near dead insects--as some species do today. These corpse-feeding ancestors then evolved into wasps that attacked living hosts. Likewise, it's not hard to envision an Ampulex-like wasp evolving into full-blown parasitoids that inject their eggs directly into their hosts, as many species do today.

And then there's the sting. Ampulex does not want to kill cockroaches. It doesn't even want to paralyze them the way spiders and snakes do, since it is too small to drag a big paralyzed roach into its burrow. So instead it just delicately retools the roach's neural network to take away its motivation. Its venom does more than make roaches zombies. It also alters their metabolism, so that their intake of oxygen drops by a third. The Israeli researchers found that they could also drop oxygen consumption in cockroaches by injecting paralyzing drugs or by removing the neurons that the wasps disable with their sting. But they can manage only a crude imitation; the manipulated cockroaches quickly dehydrated and were dead within six days. The wasp venom somehow puts the roaches into suspended animation while keeping them in good health, even as a wasp larva is devouring it from the inside

Scientists don't yet understand how Ampulex manages either of these feats. Part of the reason for their ignorance is the fact that scientists have much left to learn about nervous systems and metabolism. But millions of years of natural selection has allowed Ampulex to reverse engineer its host. We would do well to follow its lead, and gain the wisdom of parasites.